The Pond is no more. No, don’t freak out. The pool is still there, still holdin’ water and still being enjoyed by yours truly. It’s just that while I’d begun to get used to the idea of calling it The Pond, something happened when I was in it yesterday that changed that.
I’m swimming around, swishing my feet back and forth along the bottom to ensure there’s no chunky grains of salt still undissolved, and I feel something that shouldn’t be there. Since I can’t just grab the skimmer and fish it out, I take a breath and drop to the bottom to grab hold of it. Only…I can’t snag it. I mean, I got a finger on it a couple of times, but it feels like a leaf, and I just couldn’t hang out down there long enough to secure it. Now, I know what you’re thinking, because, I thought it too. And, it practically panicked me. Huh? WTF? I can’t stay under for twenty seconds to grab hold of a friggin’ leaf???
I know I need some exercise. But hell, I was walking over seven miles a day up until 4 weeks ago, when I broke the foot. And sure, while the weight I’d taken off has come back with a vengeance…all my stamina? Gone? Damn, shouldn’t the weight have helped me stay down a little longer?
The weight. Staying down there. Whoa. Only after a frustrating fourth time on the bottom did it occur to me—I wasn’t out of breath. It wasn’t that I couldn’t have stayed down there for a minute or longer…if I was in my sister’s pool. I pinned the object with my foot, and it all came together. It was the corner of a plastic bag I thought I had tossed over the side the night before. The night I put the third and fourth bags of salt in. That’s when the new name for my pool struck me: The Dead Sea.
Yeah, for the horror guy, even better than Crystal Lake. Kinda felt a little dumb that it took that long for it to click, but yeah, salt water, lot easier to float in. And, this pool currently has roughly 200 lbs of fresh salt dissolved in it, helping prevent the fat guy from pretending to be a lobster. The Pond has evolved into The Dead Sea, and that’s what I’m sticking with. Now, in another moment of absolute clarity, recall the guitar Pam got me for our anniversary a few weeks back?
I’d opened up the naming possibilities to friends, fans, family…anyone who reads the blog. And, I got a pretty good list of suggestions. But, none of them really grabbed me. I was getting a little antsy about it, though, too. Every time I picked her up, I’d waste a little more time trying to think of a good name before starting to play. Like trying to trap that piece of plastic on The Dead Sea floor, it was getting frustrating. And, it was detracting from my playing. And then…
The Mummy. I am a huge fan of the original The Mummy. After seeing someone posting about it the other night (happily, they torched the Tom Cruise reboot and gave a list of reasons why the original still kicks ass that sure sounded valid to me), I started thinking about that. Anck-su-Namun. While I dig it, it doesn’t fit the guitar. Yeah, maybe if I’d gotten this guitar in natural wood or a pale wood with sunburst, it’d be perfect. I’d get Scott to carve me an ankh to put on the headstock and I’d be set. But for a sea foam green vintage style guitar with this odd body shape? Much as I love the name Anck-su-Namun, it wasn’t gonna work. Ana, on the other hand (the Ah-na pronunciation). Ooh, now that felt good. Maybe not perfect, but damn, I was onto something.
I play for a while, but nothing else seems like it’s gonna jump out at me. I unplug, turn off my amp, hop behind the keyboard to get back onto a short story I’m working on, and tell Alexa, my Echo, to resume whatever playlist I’d been listening to. ’80s New Wave somethingorother. Boom.
“Do You Wanna Hold Me?” by Bow Wow Wow comes on. Ana falls by the wayside. Because now I know. It doesn’t just feel right, it feels perfect. For those not up on your ’80s New Wave, Bow Wow Wow was fronted by a mohawk sporting hot-as-Hell lead singer named Annabella Lwin. I won’t even talk about my efforts to get a good copy of “I Want Candy” on VHS back when you had to hit PLAY and RECORD at exactly the same time. I can still remember that video, and while to this day I’m ticked at how her manager stole Adam Ant’s band to back Lwin for Bow Wow Wow, I certainly hold nothing against her.
Having her name attached to my new guitar? Having a vintage six string that needed a throwback name and pulling one from 1983? Oh, yeah. The search is over. To all who offered up suggestions? Thanks much. I appreciate all of them. If for some reason I do wind up getting another guitar somewhere down the road, one of those may be lurking on the list, simply biding its time. Keep reading the blog—you never know.
Currently listening to: “I Sit On Acid” by Lords of Acid.