Ten years ago today, I went blind. The final longshot, last-ditch surgery that was meant to save at least a fraction of my eyesight failed, thus ending an 18-month odyssey from light to dark. Happened the day before Spider-Man, one of the few films in a couple of years I’d been looking forward to catching, opened.

Were there dark days? Sure, of course there were. But not as many as you might think. The day of the surgery wasn’t actually all that bad. I was full of painkillers, and wide awake. Not doped up, but pain-free. The next day (since I don’t usually take painkillers), the pain came. And that, well, that was a pretty miserable goddamned day. That was the day – the one day-spent wondering, “What if?”, laying around in bed, and, more importantly, contemplating, “What next?”

The following day, I began teaching myself to type again (yes, guilty as charged. Notorious hunt-and-peck typist, yours truly was). But I did what I always do – I went to work.

One of the things that kept floating to the surface that day in the middle, being morose about it all, was this: I knew the dark. I mean, I really knew it. I’d won awards for my horror stories in high school. Some of those stories got me honorable mention in contests for college writers. Some undoubtedly helped get me accepted into every college I applied to but one. (And, even some I didn’t, including an Ivy League school.) I’d gotten rave reviews for my comic book horror stories, some of which drew fan letters – and some which drew such hateful, vile responses that I knew I’d written a winner. People called to interview me. People booked me to be a guest at their conventions. People flew me all over the country to have me be at their show or store to sign books. Books that contained stories that ran the gamut from classic horror to noir suspense to full-on splatterpunk.

I knew the dark. I’d just have to navigate my way through it on a full-time basis now.

I got the chance to throw ideas at some foreign producers for a TV pilot. They bought my story, not the ones being pitched by the guy who owned the show property. I didn’t know it at the time, but I wandered into uncharted territory when I became the first blind guy to direct a feature film. I endured the death of a long-term friendship over that movie, when I discovered that the attention it was getting and the horror community’s response to it made that ex-friend try to sell the flick behind my back.

Dark days, indeed.

I was a motorcycle-ridin’, ice-hockey all-star, playing on two softball teams, and working at a company that published big-boob men’s mags, for which I sometimes contributed as a photographer. And then one day, I was blind. I was, literally and figuratively, completely in the dark.

But I was comfortable there. Always had been. Pretty sure I always will be.

My first feature film has a distribution deal. A company run by a guy who was a fan of my comic book work back in the day is selling the foreign rights. I have a TV pilot that I’m hawking. I have a slew of great reviews, and more piling up with my latest film efforts. My next shoot? Oh, hell yeah, one of the darkest pieces I’ve ever written. Two scripts that I’m shopping? The term ‘grim’ has been thrown around a lot.

There’s dark days. And there’s darker days.

And sometimes, even from this deep in the shadows, there are brilliantly bright ones. The day I completed my novel, Torn to Pieces. The day I wrapped the best piece of script writing I’ve done yet, on Visions of Sarah. Even where no light can penetrate, you have to accept that somewhere, the sun is shining. And, there is always something new waiting for you up ahead.

Unless you’re in a burning building, take the warmth on your face as a positive sign.

–Joe Monks

May 2, 2012

PS: Enjoy the video. Remember, I’m just headin’ down the acoustic path, the electric’s a guilty pleasure.

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Currently listening to: Return (Coming Home) by The Cruxshadows

Someone asked me if I was going to get back into doing some extreme, social-issue related horror, which was something I did a lot of when I first started writing comics. I tackled poverty, abortion, corporate greed, child abuse, gang culture, you name it.

Well, now I’m going back to some of those stories, an working up new ones. Only, this time the medium is film. Next project up? One of my roughest pieces of fiction, the one which made Dread Central’s Johnny Butane say, “I would walk away from reading it and I would feel like I needed a shower….like I had been doing something I wasn’t supposed to.”

I’d been told in the past this story couldn’t be adapted for comics, much less for film. It just wouldn’t work. But, then, I was told I’d never direct a feature film, either, and I proved those naysayers wrong. So…

Back to the well I go. Yep, gonna tackle some issues. Going to bring some old and new tales to today’s audience in a series of episodic short films now that I’ve reworked Chance Meeting (that’ll see release later this year). If you dug Cry for Dawn back in the day and NightCry after it, get ready for the new comic book Sick & Twisted, which’ll be included with The Bunker DVD this Halloween. I’d like to wrap a couple of episodes of the new series this year, and see if we can’t get somebody interested in picking it up. I’ll be doing festivals and conventions, and it’s my sincere hope you guys enjoy what I’m creating. I’ve already had some folks look at the new stuff and cringe.

And in my line of work? That’s a good thing.
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Currently listening to: The Days of Swine and Roses by My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult

Been waiting to make this announcement for a while, and I’m as excited about it today as I was when my wife suggested a few months ago that I do something with Chance Meeting, the short story of mine that was turned into a rather sub-par TV pilot back in 2003, and released in North America in 2004.

Did you see it? Did you even know about it? Well, if not, no surprise there. Even the entertainment companies that bankrolled the production walked away from it after releasing it on DVD in the Asian market rather then try to broadcast it.

Well, if you let that opp pass you by, you’re now getting a second chance. A much improved Chance Meeting is soon-to-be released, and it’ll only set you back $5 bucks. There’s new sound, new music, even a new Making of… featurette, and we’re still adding more goodies to the package.

To reserve a copy (no need to cough up your Lincoln just yet), visit:

http://www.sightunseenpictures.com/chancemeeting

to get on the list. The reserved copies will all be signed by yours truly, composer Robert Feigenblatt, and members of the rock band PUSH, who supply two original songs for the DVD. The first run of 2,000 copies of the short film sold out pretty quick back in ’04, I’m hoping we get an even better response from you DVD-lovin’ diehards. Also, please feel free to leave a comment (the reservation form is set up for that), whether you got to see the 2004 version or not. Would love to hear what you have to say.
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Currently listening to: Let Me Down by PUSH

Back in the late 1980s I wrote a short story that eventually became the leadoff story for my first comic book, Cry for Dawn. The story revolved around a janitor at an abortion clinic, who’s so destitute that he supplements his diet with organic material scrounged from the clinic. And no, I’m not talking about stealing the receptionist’s chicken salad sandwich from the office fridge. I’m talking about fetuses.

The story, Kids Meal, was well-received. Kinda. By our readers, it got an overwhelmingly positive response. But from others? Like our first printer, Preney Press up in Canada? No-go. We sent up our proof and they sent us back the artwork and told us they wouldn’t print such a book. We found a printer on this side of the border (Port Printing), and, well, the rest is history. Cry for Dawn did very well. If you don’t count the printer rejecting our job, our Canadian distributor (Andromeda, I believe it was), returning our copies (although their 27 employees all kept one, so we got paid for those), and eventually, being banned in Canada when we tried to ship orders directly to comic shops desperate to get their hands on the sold-out title.

Fast-forward 23 years. Last week I’m reading some news online, and lo and behold, what do I come across, but the story of a retired Kansas doctor, Krishna Rajanna, who came to the attention of the Overland Park authorities when thousands of pages of confidential patient records were found ditched behind a grammar school. Seems the former doc, whose license was yanked back in 2005 by the Kansas Board of Healing Arts After receiving numerous fines (and multiple disciplinary actions) for uncleanliness, was himself an abortion doctor. And also, according to police reports, a bit of a cannibal.

Really? I’m not going there, right?

You bet I am. From the article:

(The officer) reports that, in sworn testimony he received from employees at the clinic, not only was Rajanna’s idea of equipment sterilization washing it with Clorox and throwing it into a dishwasher, but aborted fetuses were placed in Styrofoam cups next to TV dinners in the refrigerator AND several female witnesses report to have seen Rajanna microwave a fetus and stir it into his lunch.

Twenty-three years ago, my story got us rejected by one printing house, refused by our own distributor, and banned north of the border. Today? Just another story makin’ the news.

Guess I was just ahead of my time, huh?

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Want to keep tabs on the current creative endeavors of a guy who was writing groundbreaking splatterpunk stories back in the ‘80s (and continues to do so today)? Or just keep tabs because you have small children and would prefer not to live nearby? Well, then, Twitter and Facebook is the way to do it!

http://www.twitter.com/josephmonks

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Currently listening to: Quicksilver by The Cruxshadows

Well, Friday night it will be, and as usual, Pam and I are in the usual spot—rushing around to get everything done. We’ve had the bi-monthly party a couple of times now, and it always seems both of us get slammed with work just when prep time for the gathering is critical. Tonight? No different. Billy and I ran out today and spent about a hundred bills on food, beer, sodas—everything needed to fill stomachs and quench thirst. Since Pam cooks for roughly the equivalent of a U.S. army battallion (no matter how many people are coming), that means a lot of food to cook.

Leaving little time to make sure the yard isn’t turning into some wildlife preserve with grass high enough to hide bobcats and wild boar. Since work, food prep and yard work were becoming immovable objects all on a collision course, yours truly volunteered for the lawn mowing chores.

According to Pam, it turned out pretty good. Couple spots along the fence are a little iffy, but cleaning up the few rough patches won’t take more than five minutes. Plenty of time to get that knocked out during the daytime before the guests start showing up.

Daytime??? You mean–?

Yep. What do I care about sunlight? Don’t have any nearby neighbors, no one to bitch about me mowing my yard at 10:30 at night. Well, no one but the wild hogs and bobcats. Luckily, they were busy in somebody else’s grass tonight…
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Gimme a follow on Twitter, where I say amusing stuff limited to 140 characters:

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Who knows what the blind guy’s gonna do next?
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Currently listening to: Better Things by The Kinks

I’m no disability rights activist. I’m not the guy you’re going to see on a news show waving my fist and raging about how, just because I can’t see, I shouldn’t be prevented from driving a bus or something ridiculous like that. I’m blind. I know that means there’s stuff I can do, some stuff I can’t. I’ve done a bunch of things most folks probably wouldn’t dream the blind could do. Been skydiving. Crossed swords with a martial arts expert (you can check it out on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAt6NPzZhbk). Rode a mechanical bull (vid also up on my channel). Directed a feature film (for which I won an award). That being said, if I’d had dreams of being a commercial airline pilot? Well, okay, there’s one avenue where the ROAD CLOSED sign is most definitely up.

But I don’t stop looking for new things, especially activities to entertain myself. I’d still like to box a sighted fighter. I plan on renting a motorcycle and getting out on the Bonneville Salt Flats. I’d love to give waterskiing a shot.

But…darts?

Yep. Used to shoot darts with friends when I lived in New York, and the other night at Backstreets, Billy and I were talking about it. I asked him to give me the layout of the dartboard area at the bar, and started thinking. I knew how the game worked, I used to be all right at it. What could I do to make it possible for me to play? And by play, I mean play. Not just wildly toss the pointy things in the general direction of the board.

And, sitting there at the bar, I figured out a way. But I wanted to give it a try, first, before spending time coming up with a means to enable sound to assist me in finding my target. So, we took up the darts, Billy set me up on the line, and after the first few way-off-the-mark tosses, I zeroed in. Second round of three? All hit the board. Third round? Nailed my first bullseye in probably 15 years.

So, this week sometime, Billy and I are going to go, pick up a cheap practice board, and set it up in my garage. Then, we’ll go about making the thing accessible. Then, when cooling down from working out, I plan on making myself decent.

A league? Billy would like to play. So would John. The league just started a few weeks ago, but maybe next time around?

Who knows. I’m sure I was the last person Shelly wanted to see holding darts. But there I was, doing a pretty good job with only Billy and James giving me direction. If the sound device I have in mind works, though? Well, you can bet there’ll be more pics coming, especially if we form a team. We may never win a match…but we’re going to have a whole lot of fun.
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Currently listening to: Nine by Nine by Sisters of Mercy

Well, not a game I’d classify as one of the greatest ever played, but sure wasn’t unhappy with the outcome. Had a great time over at my parents’ place, eating too much, hanging out with the Dalys, trying not to gnaw my nails off entirely watching Big Blue absolutely dominate that first half…and yet still come away down one and giving the Pats the ball to start the second. Told my dad when they punted late in the 2nd quarter, “They’re gonna let Brady pick them apart and score, then go down by eight in the third and have to start throwing more.”

Sure enough, they did. I don’t care how big a Giants fan you are, you hadda be watching that offense do nothing possession after possession, then settle for field goals, wondering, “Are they gonna choke?”

Luckily, this is the Eli Manning I was happy to see the Giants deal for back on draft day and pass on the chance at Phillip Rivers. Rivers may have great stats, but I always thought Eli could be the type of QB the Giants have needed since Phil Simms retired. Calm, no nonsense, efficient, and smart. No, he’s not the stat machine Peyton is, but…who’s got more rings and more MVP awards in the game that really counts? Who’s got the better playoff record? Who’s still got far fewer postseason starts, with the chance to keep getting better with more time left in his career?

Something else. And, I tweeted about this last nite to Adam Schefter. Hey, before people start lionizing Tom Coughlin as some legendary head coach, let’s remember, for the past 2.5 seasons, he’s been coaching for his job on a regular basis. Deservedly so. Yes, he earned credit for the 2007 Super Bowl season. But by the same token, he absolutely deserves the criticism that comes from having his team totally fall apart around him in the wake of the Plaxico Burress debacle, and then two second-half collapses during the regular season that *earned* him his place on the hot seat. This year? Let’s take off the Giants fan hats for a minute and look at this season. 9-7. That was it. And, that includes two horrendous losses to a Redskins team that wasn’t going anywhere, a reprehensible loss at home to the Eagles—a severely beaten up team playing with their backup QB, and that miracle game in Dallas, where they were losing by 12 with 3:30 to go. Dallas doesn’t choke (which they did a *lot* this season), year is over and done with right there. I know, I know, it *could* have been an ugly ending to the season. But, that’s something to keep in mind. This Giants team is pretty talented. But are they, with the beaten up secondary and Justin Tuck not being 100% a good portion of the year, and the various injuries on offense, *better* than the teams that absolutely folded like lawn chairs after starting 6-2?

Nope, and that’s the point. Coughlin was hailed by retired QB Steve Young a few weeks back after the Atlanta win as a “great motivator.” Okay, fine. Where was that motivation the past three seasons? I know winning the big one gives you the free pass the following year, I don’t mind that. But Tom Coughlin has been on the hot seat repeatedly in his Giants career for one reason—he belonged there. His teams weren’t performing.

Listen, winning a Super Bowl is hard. Everyone knows that. But…other Super Bowl winning coaches have gotten fired. Mike Shanahan won two in a row and still got fired. John Gruden won a Super Bowl and got fired a couple seasons later. It happens. And, if your team has a habit of being streaky and inconsistent (and, a 9-7 regular season finish this year, I would bet my writing career, would have been his last had he not won the division. (Largely thanks to the choking ways of the Cowboys and the Eagles absolutely turning in the underperformance of the past ten years).

This year was all about Eli Manning. His ability to bear down and do things on 3rd down you rarely see this frequently. I’m not about to go jumping for joy about Kevin Gilbride calling the offense, either. Let’s face it—you don’t draw up that David Tyree miracle catch from their last Super Bowl meeting with New England, and you don’t draw up yesterday’s Mario Manningham grab late in the 4th, either. The Giants offense, which looked amazing against the Falcons and Packers, was far from potent today. If Wes Welker catches that gimme touchdown? In all likelihood, game over. Tough to say whether or not the Giants offense would have scored another TD had Bradshaw gone down in the final minutes, too. I think it’s accurate to say the Pats gave them the score, because it made sense. But besides that first quarter touchdown and some nice, individual passing plays, did you ever get the feeling the Giants O could take charge? Nope, and I really think a better coached team would have run away with this thing early. Not often you get those kinds of gifts and possessions with the opportunity to tear out a team’s throat. And yeah, penalties are part of the game. But this Giants offense was going up against a pretty poorly rated D. Middle of the pack in points allowed? Okay, let’s just take that stat. Giants drives were bogging down regularly, they were inconsistent moving the ball, they got a 2 point gift on a Patriots penalty in the end zone. Hardly what we saw in Green Bay 3 weeks ago, was it?

So, not to be overly critical, because all that counts is getting the W when there’s only one game left to play. They did it, and deserve the congrats and the free pass the coaching staff gets next year. But lets at least be honest about how this team played over the entire season, remember why it was that the coaching staff were getting hammered by fans and pundits alike, and remember that the Giants are the first 9-7 team to win the Super Bowl. Giants have two Super Bowl wins with Coughlin and Manning. Belichik and Brady are now only 3-2 in Super Bowls, but…wouldn’t you want the Patriots kind of consistency and a *shot* at having Coughlin and Manning in *5* title games as opposed to going 9-7, 8-8, 8-8 over the past couple of years?

I know what I want, and that’s for a Giants 2012 team that should only get better to get at least 10 regular season wins, play tough game-in, game-out, and make the playoffs. The D should be improved, as Jason Pierre Paul keeps getting better, Osi and Tuck get time to heal up in the offseason, the secondary can get back to 100%, and management shores up the LB position. There’s the draft, and a good corps of receivers we can add to. Maybe some O line help and finding a piece or two to help out at tight end. We just won a Super Bowl—and there’s plenty of room to improve. We don’t have to win three in a row, but I’d sure like the chance to be in the playoffs as regularly as a team like the Steelers or Patriots have been the last several years, wouldn’t you? I’m a lifelong Giants fan. I bleed blue. But I’m also a realist. The playoffs are where the Giants have made noise, and getting there regularly?

That’s the kind of thing that usually keeps your coach off the hot seat.
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Currently listening to: Dragula by Rob Zombie

No exaggeration (though a hat tip to Jewel.) Got a head cold that I probably can’t entirely blame on Pam (although she did get it first), but she went out tonight with a friend and I’m here wondering if I should change my living will.

Anyway, while I endeavor to keep mucous from getting all over my space bar, here’s a quick update on what’s happening on this end.

My novel, Torn to Pieces, is being proofed by friends and fellow authors, as we ready it for release on Kindle, NOOK, and whatever other e-book options exist. Not being a Kindle or NOOK user myself, I’m sure there’s other means of getting e-books into the hands of readers, so feel free to clue the blind guy in on what’s available by dropping me an e-mail.

As well, we’re scheduling the photo shoot for the CHASERS upload (if you missed the chance to download it for free for Xmas, relax, it’ll only be .99 cents when we put it up again). That one generated some really nice responses, and to everyone who gave it a look-see and commented, you have my thanks.

Stuff Out’a My Head 2 is in the works, which I’m really jazzed about, because with the growing acceptance of e-books, now I don’t have to worry about the cost of printing if I want to make the thing 300 pages…or more. I guess once we format it, I’ll have a better idea, but I’m going to put in a lot more than I was able to with Stuff 1.

So, that’s it. Just a quickie report so loyalists don’t think I’ve abandoned the blog completely. Next update’ll likely concern the upcoming release of my debut feature film, The Bunker, and what international fests/markets it’ll be offered at. Yep, international film markets, The Bunker is headed overseas!

‘Til next time…

Hawkeye
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Currently listening to: Immigrant Song, covered by Karen O feat. Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross, from Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (which I highly recommend.)
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Like horror? Mystery novels? Thrillers? Well, click FOLLOW here & keep up with everything the blind guy’s doing—including breaking new ground in the film industry:

http://www.twitter.com/josephmonks

Not too many folks in the Winners column this year, but a few managed to claw their way across the line. So, here goes.

1) Herman Cain
Loser. Announced his bid for the republican nomination for president. Took the country by storm (and surprise), quickly rising to the top of the polls. Then, rumors of affairs, accusations of sexual harassment, and a series of embarrassments drove him to the sidelines. Welcome to politics, Herman. Maybe try running for a House or Senate seat first next time.

2) Albert Pujols
Winner. At 41, in all likelihood he’ll be well, well past his prime, but the contract he just signed with the California Angels will still be paying him more than 25 mil per season. Who knows? By then the economy might even turn around. Which leads us to…

3) Anybody looking for a job.
Losers. Let’s face it folks, the stimulis plan was a disaster, and it’s been three years. The man at the top and his economic policies blow. My guess is even the most rabid Bush-haters’d trade 2011 for 2005, with it’s 5.3% unemployment rate and a booming housing market. As the twitterverse would put it: #EpicFail

4) ebook authors
Winners. E-publishing is finally viewed as legitimate, and as a result many quality writers have been able to carve out a spot for themselves without the hassle of needing an agent to beat down the doors of a traditional publishing house. Unfortunately, this also leads to…

5) ebook readers
Losers. No, not the Nook, Kindle or other devices—I’m talking actual readers. Human beings. All you folks who like to turn a page, be it pulp or pixels. The market’s been flooded with more garbage than the average river near a chemical plant, and trust me, no matter how many .99 cent offerings you plod through, there are a lot of non-quality writers doing the same thing they did when self-published chapbooks were the order of the day. True, they’re no longer killing trees. Just brain cells.

6) The Indianapolis Colts
Losers. Sure, they may get their own version of Aaron Rodgers in Andrew Luck, who’ll learn behind Peyton Manning. But boy, how the loss of one guy really put this franchise into the toilet. Sure, other guys have been hurt and put on IR, etc. But…come on. This team started the season in pretty decent shape aside from quarterback. Until a couple of weeks ago, they were looking like they’d match the Lions from a couple seasons back and go winless. (The Tennessee Titans sure wish they would have). Still, the biggest reason the Colts are losers? Simply because of how quickly they were exposed without Manning under center. In 2012, I expect the bulls-eye to be on a still-recovering Manning, regardless of how risky it’s been to blitz him in the past. Put him on the sideline for a couple series, this team isn’t just different, it’s gutted.

7) Casey Anthony
The only person to make this list in both categories, Winner and Loser. Sure, she got away with the murder of her child. In doing so, however, she avoids prison only to face death threats and be the most hated woman in the United States. Probably some other countries too—and she doesn’t even live there.

The Occupy… movement
Losers. “What?!” you say. “But…look at what they accomplished!” Exactly. They burned bright, burned brief, and…where are they now? They’ve been run out of almost all their encampments. They managed to tick off the very people they wanted to have on their side. They’re getting virtually no ink at present, and my guess is they probably won’t be able to recapture the media’s attention without doing something extreme—which would only marginalize them further. So, yeah, for a short time they held the world’s attention. But you know what? Justin Bieber has more staying power. What’s that tell you about the mark Occupy… has left overall?

9) Drew Brees
Winner. Breaking a record is one thing, but breaking a record that’s stood for 27 years, and was held by one of the greatest passers of all time in Dan Marino…with another game left to add to it? Well done, sir, well done.

10) Creators & Intellectual property holders
Losers. You’d think that congress wanting to crack down on piracy would be a good thing, at least in principle. But, this SOPA bill is so poorly crafted that you now have creators and rightsholders clamoring for its defeat. No wonder congress’ approval rating is lower than Mel Gibson’s…

and, just outside the Top 10…

11) You—if you like readin’ horror stories
Yep, for fans of extreme horror, I’m leaving up CHASERS, my grim Xmas tale, for an extra week. Scroll back to the last column, or click here and grab it:

http://tinyurl.com/cy835zp

Thanks for stopping by, here’s wishing you a safe and healthy New Year’s, and all my wishes for everything in 2012 to be positive for you! (Well, maybe not an HIV test, but still…)

–Joe

So, proof positive I haven’t abandoned the blog, just been so swamped under that the blog fell not just to the back burner, but entirely off the stove.

Been shooting a lot of music video stuff, and working with a band and a solo musician on two songs for an upcoming project. Not being a musician (I played the cello in HS, but that was about the last time I picked up an instrument with any level of competence), that’s been alternately thrilling and frustrating, but great progress is being made.

As for the horror. On the video shoot a couple of weeks ago, we dragged out my casket (yep, it’s a real authentic post-mortem 1 room apartment), and shot a little anniversary shout out for the fine folks at LatinHorror.com. You can check it out here:

Very happy to contribute to the anniversary well-wishes, and to do something creative in just 20 seconds. The whole run of videos will be shown prior to the Anthology Film Archive event next week in New York City, so if you’re gonna be there, you can wait. If not? Click the link and let the guys at LH know you dig it.

Big announcement coming in the next day or two, been finalizing arrangements for the past few weeks. Keep checkin’ in, I’m chompin’ at the bit about this one.
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Currently listening to: Diffuzion – Dbd (While You Can)